I have been working a lot. Working out a lot. Went on a date with a boy. Met another boy over the weekend. Waiting for a text or a call.
Something has been feeling off. My stress levels are high, I don’t feel at ease and I can’t place what it’s from. I’m thinking maybe work and job hunting. Because my work is closing for refurbishment soon, I need to find a new job, and I don’t want to move on to another hospitality/retail job. I want to start my career but I’m having very little luck so far. And work ethic/care is low at work. Most have become quite lazy, wasting time and mucking around. I am still giving my best, and I find it difficult to work alongside people who I value as friends, but aren’t putting any effort into their job. And there is nothing I can do about it. I guess I’m experiencing a sense of powerlessness in my life at the moment. I’ll find another barista job very easily, but I don’t want to keep doing that.
In a month or so, I’ll be changing my hair colour. Redder. Warm for winter.
I’ve been cooking more. I feel better and have better workouts when I put good fuel in my body. I’ve lost centimetres off everywhere. Gaining muscle, so my weight is at the higher end of its normal variations, which can be difficult to wrap my head around. I’ve always had these numbers in my head of what is acceptable for my body, if I am 50kg or under I am skinny and that is good, and over 50kg is bad. And I’m about 53kg now. but my measurements are probably closer to what I would have been at 48kg.
I will do a progress update of my 2012 goals every three months. So at the end of March I’ll do a recap of that.
Balance seems to be difficult to achieve lately. But all I can do is to keep trying, and keep doing things that enrich my life and my person and hopefully, things will settle down and I will have a greater sense of peace again.